The Honest Truth About Therapy

The Honest Truth About Therapy

By Emily Popoff, RCC

Let’s talk about therapy for a minute and the real side of it, not just the cozy, candle-lit room version you see on Instagram.

There are a lot of ideas out there about what therapy should feel like, how it should go, and what it means if it doesn't feel good. But the truth is, therapy isn't always comfortable. And that doesn't mean it's not working. In fact, discomfort is often where the work really begins.

Here are a few honest truths from the therapy room that people don’t always talk about:

1. Therapy isn’t supposed to be easy

It’s not meant to be a casual chat every week where you leave feeling amazing. That can happen sometimes, but if it’s always easy, it might mean something’s off. Maybe you’re not being challenged. Maybe you’re holding back. Maybe you and your therapist just aren’t the right fit.

We’re not supposed to bulldoze over your defenses, but sometimes we see when someone is dodging hard things and we have to decide whether to meet them there, or gently step back until it feels safer. The work can feel tender. And vulnerable. And tiring. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Sometimes that’s exactly where growth lives.

2. We aren’t easily shocked

We hear a lot of stuff. Affairs. Childhood trauma. Rage toward partners or kids. Not being attracted to your spouse. Hating your in-laws. Feeling numb. Feeling lost. Wanting to run away. We also live in a small town where sometimes information isn't new, we might hear about someone we are familiar within the community. And that's okay. We keep it confidential and even when it is new information for us on people or systems we might experience being in a small town, we're not shocked. You are not the first person to bring something heavy into the room, and you won’t be the last.

We don’t think less of you. Actually, we usually feel more connected to you when you tell us the stuff you’ve been afraid to say out loud. It’s our job to hold it with care and to see the human underneath it—not to be shocked or put off.

3. We admire your honesty, especially when it’s messyTelling the truth in therapy—especially when it doesn’t make you look good—is one of the most courageous things you can do. I’ve had clients whisper confessions they’ve been holding for years, terrified it’ll change how I see them.

But here’s the thing: it usually makes me respect them more. Not because of the content of what they said, but because they were willing to say it. Therapy isn’t about being impressive or put together. It’s about being real. That’s where healing happens.

4. We’re not here to give you all the answers

This one can feel frustrating. For both of us! I have even sensed at times people NOT returning because I wasn't giving them enough direct advice, or tools, or telling them what to do. Because sometimes people come in and just want someone to tell them what to do. Totally fair because it’s hard to be in a stuck place. But therapy isn’t about advice. It’s not about telling you what choice to make or what move to play next.

It’s about helping you understand why you feel the way you do, what patterns are showing up, and what really matters to you. It’s slower than advice, but it’s more powerful. Because when you figure things out for you, the changes stick.

5. We think about you even when you’re not in the room

This one might sound a little weird, but it’s true. Your therapist doesn’t just forget about you the moment you walk out the door. We reflect on your sessions. We think about what might be helpful for next time. Sometimes we consult or read up on something to support you better.

You’re not just a name in a calendar slot. You matter to us. And while we have to hold professional boundaries, don’t underestimate the quiet care that continues between sessions. I for one am always happy to see a familiar name pop onto my schedule even if it's been a while!

If you’ve been wondering whether therapy is supposed to feel easier, whether you’re doing it wrong, or whether you’re the only one carrying the heavy thing, you’re not. Therapy is a place to be honest, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

We can take it. We won’t turn away. And we’re honoured to sit with you in it. Talking Helps!

Emily Popoff, Clinic Owner & Therapist at Talking Helps Heal